The First Annual Hyper Politically Correct, Non-denominational, Largely Unoffensive Holiday Party 2006
December 10, 2006
From your best friends at Celebrity Happy Hour, Inc. and The Six Shooters, LLC,
You are hereby cordially invited to attend the first annual: Hyper-Politically Correct, Largely Unoffensive, Nondenominational Holiday Party (hereinafter referred to as the “HPCLONHP”).
- WHEN: December 15 2006 at 9:30 PM
- WHERE: “The Mark,” 79 Poplar St NW, Atlanta, GA 30303. For map and directions, click here.
First, I feel it is important to get the unpleasantries aside. The following message was sent by Brooke Greene, founder and CEO of The Six Shooters™:
Hello my friends and fellow lushes!!
What better way to celebrate this Christmas season, but with an encore party at the Mark! I hope all of you will be able to attend, and I also expect that you will all be wearing those holiday colors!! Must be wearing Red, Green, and/or White this time for entry! (Get creative, people). Any sort of costume is always welcome. I know how you love your role-playing…………
Look forward to seeing you, and check out the Mark website (www.themarkatlanta.com)
Best Wishes!!
Luv,
Brooke and The Six Shooters
Please note that this message was sent without CHH approval. CHH, its employees, affiliates, and assigns do not condone the use of the word “Christmas.” Oh behalf of The Six Shooters™, please accept our heart-felt apology. In no way was this invitation intending to exclude Jeremy, or any other of our Jewish friends. We recognize that “Hanukkah” is a very special and important holiday which often coincides with “Christmas.” Also, as you probably know, the Islamic holiday known as Eid-al-Adha falls is being celebrated this month… we don’t know what that is, but I must ask that if this holiday involves explosives or stabbing, please be sure to take these actions either before or after the gathering. The Mark has a strict “no-explosive” and “no stabbing” policy, which we have been asked to honor. (Hey.. I don’t make the rules).
So, we here at CHH really wanted to send out a holiday greeting to our loyal members. And, our members know that we here at CHH constantly strive do everything we can to keep from offending people. So I met with our attorney yesterday, and we put together the following invitation:
To our special friends, please accept, with no obligation whatsoever, express or implied, an invitation to our environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, Hyper-Politically Correct, Nondenominational, Largely Unoffensive Holiday Party on this winter solstice holiday, which is, generally speaking, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We at CHH would also like to wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee. Please note that by accepting this invitation and any holiday greeting which may or may not be set forth therein, you are expressly accepting the following terms and conditions: This invitation is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original invitation. It implies no promise by the invitor to actually implement any of the express or implied wishes and/or greetings for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the invitor. This invitation contains holiday greetings which are warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this holiday greeting or issuance of a new greeting at the sole discretion of the invitor.
